The Michelin-Star Experience Of Receiving Feedback
Executive coach analogy on receiving feedback
One of the things I love doing as an executive coach is coming up with analogies that help capture the principles behind certain leadership competencies. A “trademark” analogy of mine when I coach executives and leaders about how they should receive feedback is that of the experience that a 5-star restaurant creates.
This might not make sense to you at first glance but stay with me, I promise the “Aha!” moment of clarity will come.
What is the 5-star restaurant analogy?
The mark of a 5-star restaurant goes beyond how exquisite the food might taste. Let’s say that you are dining in what is supposed to be a “Michelin-star” restaurant. On top of quality food, you’d expect quality service right? Imagine that you called the waiter to give some feedback on the food, only to be met with a black face and to receive a condescending reply. No matter how great the rest of the food was, the aftertaste of your visit would be bitter.
What truly sets a “5-star restaurant” apart is the experience that it creates for the customer. In other words, what the customer will remember is how they felt after leaving the restaurant. That feeling — positive or negative — is the deciding factor as to whether the customer will gladly patronise the restaurant again or write off the restaurant altogether.
Here’s the link that I draw in my sessions as a leadership coach. The same experience that 5-star restaurant owners must create for their customers is the same experience that 5-star leaders must create when receiving feedback from their team members.
You know you’ve created a “Michelin-star” experience for your team members when they leave feeling encouraged and hopeful after giving feedback to you.
What is the 5-star experience of receiving feedback?
These are my tips as an executive coach on how to create this elusive “Michelin-star” experience when receiving feedback:
The golden rule is to respond, not react.
Stay calm. Don’t be overly quick to “jump to your own defense” when you hear their feedback. I know what you’re thinking… It’s easier said than done. We are, after all, human beings. And human beings are emotional beings.
Remember the goal is CONNECTION. Wait for them to finish what’s on their mind without interrupting them. After receiving their feedback, make it a point to repeat what they shared in your own words to assure them that you are listening. Finally, dig deeper by asking them questions about how they felt and gather pointers from them on how you can better manage the situation in the future.
Pay extra attention to your non-verbal cues.
Give them the space to say what they need to say. Put aside all distractions and assure them that you are there to listen. You should not be replying to messages or checking emails as the conversation is taking place.
Don’t let your body posture betray you! Be mindful that you aren’t fidgeting or letting your eyes wander off. It’s not just what is said but what is unsaid. These non-verbal cues of how you portray yourself – whether intentional or unintentional – are what give you away.
When your team members have a taste of this “Michelin-star” experience when giving you feedback, that gives them confidence in you as their leader and will be more welcoming of your feedback to them in return.
So take a moment now to ask yourself:
What is the experience you create for the person who gives you feedback?
